Promises, Kingsguards and goodbyes
by fangfaceAndrea
Summary: "Your brother said I could be part of the Kingsguard, if I wanted to." Pod said tentatively
1. Chapter 1

"Honestly, Sansa, I would feel better knowing you're going back home with Ser Brienne at your side" The sisters were seated ad one of the Red Keeps balconies that somehow survived Daenarys Targaryen's attack on the city. It was just dumb luck, or irony that it gave them a perfect view of the harbor and the ship that would take Arya on her adventures west of the west. Perfect for a goodbye.

"And if I asked her, she would reject Bran's offer to become Lord Commander. But I can't do that to her. No more than I could ask you to stay in Westeros"

"Sansa, I…." and for the first time in weeks Arya feels her resolve crumbling, but Sansa takes her hand to offer some comfort .

"Arya, it's alright I understand, you need to get away, trust me I understand, I felt trapped here for too long. And after everything we've seen, what _you_ have seen…" There are tears in her eyes but she offers a sad smile to her sister "But the North is free and safe, and it will be waiting for you, when you're ready"

"What if I'm never ready?"

"And what if you are? Forever is a long time and the world may even turn out to be too small for you. I just want you to promise that you'll stay safe" asked Sansa with way too many emotions in her eyes.

"You know I can't promise that"

"But you can promise that you'll try. Don't be annoying. Just promise" and this time the request was more a tentative sort of teasing, Sansa the wise, trying to put her sister at ease.

"Fine. I promise. But you'll have to promise too, _you grace_"

Sansa snorts "Of course I promise, _princess_ Arya"

"Well, I think you're already breaking your promise by leaving Brienne here."

"Arya, this has been her lifelong dream, I just can't-"

"And I agree, but maybe I'm not saying you should ask Brienne back with you?"

"Then what are you saying?"

"Just that there is a perfectly good, newly appointed knight who looks at you like he's ready to follow you to the end of the world. Hells, he already did and got through alive."

"ah… you mean Podrick" Sansa said a little wistful, a bit sadly.

"I mean Ser Podrick, yes, who by all accounts shouldn't even be permitted to take on a chastity vow. Apparently it would be disservice to all women in Westeros"

"Arya!" Sansa gave an appalled shriek the likes of which Arya hadn't heard in a long time, probably before they first stepped on Kings Landing. It made her chuckle. It made Sansa chuckle too.

"What? You just said forever is long time, and being in the Kingsguard is an honor, but maybe just maybe, the Lady of Winterfell could save him from a life of … dullness"

"Wow. You have thought about this." Sansa said trying to steer the conversation from what she too may have heard about Pod.

"I'm just saying. He might not be the best sword in the realms but you feel safe with him, I've seen it, and he'd lay his life down for you."

"I don't want him to lay down his life. And I don't want him to come north with me, it would be too complicated"

"Too complicated because you care about him too or because you don't care about him at all?"

"Too complicated because I do know how he feels, how he looks at me, how he smiles at me and makes comforts me when no one is looking"

"That doesn't sound too bad" Arya says and she can feel the irony in her words because that is just precisely what she has running from wasn't it?

Besides, this is about Sansa right now, who carries on trying to explain "so yes I care about him, like that, at least sometimes feel like I do but even then I'm not… I can't even think of a man like that, even someone as good as Podrick."

"Sansa…" Arya was at a loss of words "fuck, you don't deserve what happened to you" she

Sansa took a deep breath "let's not dwell on it", she said trying to push the memories away. "Please."

Arya nodded. What else could she say? the last thing she wanted was to remind her sister of all the awful pain. Especially when they were parting ways in the morning.

After a beat, she continued "You might be right, if you're not ready to… explore your options with him, it might be better that you're not too close to each other, I mean what if he just proposes out of the blue way too soon and you really aren't there yet, maybe you need a little time to settle back into ruling the north, maybe you feel like you have incompatible duties" Arya finished in a somewhat panicked rant

Sansa just raised an eyebrow at her sister, somehow she felt that this conversation had turned into something else, and she would be sure to interrogate her Sister into the late hours of the night when time for sleep and their final goodbye came.

The next morning King Bran, Lady (princess?) Sansa, Ser Brienne and Ser Podrick stood watching a ship sail away into the unknown.

"There are many wonders west of Westeros, but our sister might find herself home at the end of a storm" Said Bran to the incomprehension of Pod and Brienne, but in what made sense to Sansa a lot after her conversation with Arya last night.

"I just hope you mean what I think you mean, brother" Sansa answered, while Pod and Brienne just exchange a look.

After a few minutes Bran broke the silence "Ser, Brienne, would you mind taking me back to the council room, we should make preparations for the first council meeting and I think my sister wished to speak to Podrick in private".

At that every looked either mortified, in Sansa's case, nervous in Pod's case or visibly mystified in the case of Brienne.

"I.. erm… my brother is right, Ser Brienne. Ser Podrick, would you mind staying with me for a few minutes" she said and she could swear she felt a blush spreading at the knight's inquisitive gaze.

"Of course my lady" he instantly responded and Brienne proceeded to take the king away.

Sansa was both mortified and grateful to her brother because she did not know how to start , the conversation. Hell she didn't even know what she wanted to say or what she wanted from Pod but she was Sansa Stark and after a deep breath she steeled herself.

"So Podrick, now that you are a knight, have you thought about what you want to do next?"

"Well, of course I thought I would stay with you my lady" he said earnestly "after all we swore an oath to you".

"Yes, well, Brienne swore an oath to me Ser Podrick, and by keeping my brother safe she will continue to keep it but you are not bound to me in any way". _And right now I selfishly want you to be_ she dared think for the first time. _Thanks Arya._

He gulped and looked her in the eyes "no, I am not, my lady but I'll kneel for you right now if you want to" and Sansa could swear that he was pleading with her to let him.

"That's very noble of you Ser, but I want to know what you want. Especially now that you're a knight like you've always wanted, I couldn't ask you to follow me up north when I know you could be a great Knight of the six kingdoms and get everything you ever wanted." she smiled at that.

"But, of course you can ask me lady Sansa. You can ask me anything"

"No, Podrick, I can't. I won't. When you were a squire, everyone was always telling you what to do, who to rescue, who to serve. I want to know what you want."

The look on the man's face could only be described as naked want at this point "what I … you're too kind, my lady"

"Sansa, just, call me Sansa"

"You're too kind Sansa, but I wanted to be a knight, beyond that I think you know who I want"

She kept silent just looking at him for far too long, and though he didn't attempt to amend his statement he tries to give her an out.

"Your brother said I could be part of the Kingsguard, if I wanted to." Pod said tentatively.

And those words brought back her conversation with Arya from the night before and all of the sudden it was paramount that he would not take those vows "Please don't do that!" she exclaimed.

"My lady? What... have I done something to offend you, do you not think me worth of protecting our king… my lady I know I'm not the bes-"

"oh no Pod, no, please don't think that, I'm just asking you not to because, I'm" she gave a frustrated sight at herself " well I don't want to make any promises, I'm not sure of much right now except"

"What?"

But instead of answering she just stepped really close to him touched his cheeked and kissed him. For a few second he didn't respond but well before giving Sansa time to feel insecure he brought his hand to her head, caressing her hair and kissed her back like he had wanted for months now.

After the kiss, Podrick felt even more bewildered and a lot breathless. And stupidly happy. And for a second he looked at her and saw the same feeling reflected on her face, but she was quick to recover and she smiled sadly as she took a step back.

"Sansa?", he spoke softly afraid of her reaction. "I don't understand, you kiss me but you don't want to be with… you don't want me to go with you. Still?"

"Podrick. I think, I think I do want you to come with me, but as I just said. I don't want to be selfish and I can't make any promises, not now. I'm not ready and let's be honest, I can't just go back to Winterfell to establish our Kingdom and be in love at the same time. We've seen how well that works for us Starks. "

"You said in love" and of course that's what he chose to hear, Sansa thought.

"I'm still not ready. Would you give me a few months? I think I have duties in the north and you can learn a lot about being a Knight here, and Brienne could use your help around here" and this time her words did not feel like a dismissal to him, more like the promise she had just said she wouldn't make.

He nodded with a charming smile as closed the distance she had put between them "yes my lady, I'll wait for you to be ready."

"And you won't take the position as Kingsguard, right?"

"I'm sure I can serve our king in other ways while I'm here my lady Sansa" he said with confidence.

"Good" she replied before kissing him again.


	2. Chapter 2

"So the pretty Queen in the North is still married to you, you ugly cunt"

Tyrion just looks mortified "Oh for fucks sake, stop that Bronn"

But his friend just gave a hearty laugh "what does that make you then? Prince consort, Lord of Winterfell?"

"That makes me nothing; I'm sure we can get an annulment and leave the Queen her freedom to marry whomever she pleases. Wouldn't you agree, maester Sam?"

"erhh.. I believe we can write to the citadel, clarify the situation at once"

"and you never consummated your marriage." added Bran knowingly.

"you better not have" muttered Brienne under her breath while glaring daggers at Tyrion who interjected "Of course I didn't, Sansa was a child! "

"We'll she isn't a child now, I can't believe you don't want to go up north and demand that she-"

"I swear to the gods Lord Bronn, you keep talking about Queen Sansa like that and I will -" Brienne stood from her seat ready to cut the lord in front of her in half.

Ser Davos, often the voice of reason had to yell "alright enough, everyone!"

"Lord Bronn, as this has nothing to do with matters of gold, please refrain yourself from talking. Lord Tyrion, I'm sure nobody here doubts your honor in this respect, You'd probably be dead or worse at the hands of Lady Arya if you had hurt Her Grace in any way and Ser Brienne, please refrain yourself from killing our master of coin" he finished a bit winded.

"Thank you Ser Davos, although a part of me would let Ser Brinee do as she would, had Lord Bronn not stopped talking about my sister like that"

There was awkward silence for there weren't many times when the king acted as Bran Stark. Brienne just smirked.

"Right," Tyrion decided to carry on "so, that's settled, Sam will obtain the annulment, I'll give any testimony the maesters at the citadel may need, no need to bother Queen Sansa with this if we can help it."

"But would she want that?" Asked Samwell Tarly timidly, "from what we heard from the North she keeps fending off offers of marriage from northern lords, this may give her the perfect excuse not to marry any of them…" he looked directly at Bran, because he might be the only one who might have a clue about the Queen's thoughts on the matter.

"You are correct in that Sansa does not wish to take another husband at the moment. This could work as an advantage for her. At least until she is ready to announce her own marriage intentions"

"Sansa has marriage intentions?" was the surprised question from Ser Davos

Bran seemed to think about it for a little and wistfully looks at the entrance of the council room before answering "Sansa made promises to someone, The Queen in the North is considering whether taking action on those promises is right for the kingdom."

Brine also looked at the door of the council and suddenly something made sense to her, she had to ask "what kind of promise?"

"I'm sorry Ser Brienne, but I can't answer that for you"

"Of course you can't, sorry, your grace."

"When we get the annulment, I believe we should send Ser Podrick north with the document" announced Bran.

"Podrick, your grace? Won't a raven with the news suffice?" asked Ser Davos

"I think sending Ser Podrick is a great idea, he will be discreet with the information, he knows the road to Winterfell and has the queen's trust as to be received warmly up there." Finished Brianne while throwing a conspiratorial glance at the king.

It had been a surprise to say the least, when a messenger arrived to the courtroom stating that an envoy from the south had arrived at the gates of the castle asking to speak with the queen. When the man added that it was the boy who used to squire for lady Brienne it was a shock to her body.

The jolt of joy she felt made her body sing but too soon after came the trepidation, _she wasn't ready yet;_ they kept writing each other, silly things sometimes, on occasion one would slip and tell the other how she missed seeing him training with Brienne and getting back up, or how he would hear a lord say something idiotic and he could almost hear her remaking something that would put the man in his place, or how the missed each other smiles and touches. Silly nothings, really.

She wrote him about wanting to see him but not being sure enough in her place to do so yet, there were still marriage policies in place and eager lords to try to put off. He reassured her that it was alright, that he too had been learning to lead in a decimated army; that he wanted to be able to offer her more than just a boy in a metal suit.

But if he was here just less than a year after her coronation it probably wasn't because of her. It probably was something urgent and dreadful, she mused.

So it was probably a bigger shock to those present at court when she order the messenger to tell the staff to set up a room for Ser Podrick and to tell him that she would see him in her private study after this session was finished.

Oh, she was going to hear from her advisers about entertaining men privately as an unmarried queen.

Except it wasn't "men". It was Ser Podrick Payne.

And she would suffer the complaints of her advisors for him. It's the least she could do after leaving him in King's Landing with a few kisses and a promise to call him back home once things settled in the north.

After almost two hours of meeting she finally made her way to her study where two guards were positioned at the entry.

"Your Grace" they gave a short nod.

"is Ser Podrick already inside?

"yes, your Grace"

"are… is that his sword, Sven?

"Yes your grace, we wouldn't be very good at our job if we let an armed meet with you in private would we?"

"No, I suppose, you wouldn't. But it's alright, its Ser Podrick, no need for that."

With that, she took the sword along a big breath, set her shin up and she opened the door.

When she entered the room he immediately turned from his position by the window where he was looking out, a little insecure but a little hopeful.

They looked at each other for a few seconds before she broke the silence.

"Hello, Pod"

He smiled at the familiar use of his nickname "Hello again, your grace".

"Here, you left your sword out" she handed him the sword and relished in the touch of his hand as she gave it to him.

"Thank you, my queen, I was glad to see you are well protected in your home"

"it's not the same without you and Ser Brienne, but they keep me safe" she offered.

"So" the both started and let a small laugh at the chorus but he motion for her to go first.

"So, what brings you here without warning?... please don't tell me it's another war" and though she said it teasingly there was a genuine worry behind her words.

"Nothing like that, my queen, it actually is something that you might like"

He then proceeded to tell her about how the citadel had send word of possible conflicts concerning the matter of heirs born of the new queen in the north seeing as she was married to a Lannister and asking what that would mean for the Heir of Casterly Rock, and how Lord Tyrion had proclaimed that although some might suggest keeping their bond might seem useful to some southern lords he would not hold Sansa hostage to vows made when they both were practically prisoners of his family and therefore sent for an annulment, one which he sent Podrick to deliver to the queen.

"So… you are here to give me my freedom back, Ser Podrick, how chivalrous of you" she asked with a glint in her eye after a way too composed and proper Podrick delivered the news and the scroll from Tyrion.

"Well it was Lord Tyrion really, who felt that you should be made aware of your situation, and be released form your wedding vows, but you know I am always happy to be of service to you, your grace". He was still awkward, she found him endearing.

"and…we have been married all this time" she said sounding amused "who would have thought that it would be me and not the indecent Tyrion Lannister the one who would be the adulterous one, remarrying without actual proof of my husband's passing" she finished more bitterly at the intrusive memories of her last marriage.

Podrick was silent for a few seconds, pondering what the queen just said. "I don't think that's fair your grace"

"oh! you know I don't think Lord Tyrion is indecent at all Podrick. Adulterous, maybe, indecent not so much" she said apologetically, she knew that Podrick always held Tyrion in high esteem.

"I meant fair to you, Sansa" and there he was, stoic Podrick replaced by the kind smitten Podrick who could make her feel all kinds of warm and safe.

"You are always sweet to me, Pod. I have missed that. I've missed you" offering her hand and with that all pretense of formality and awkwardness was gone.

Podrick seemed to relax as he smiled and stepped towards her to take her hand and kiss it reverently. "It has been far too long, my q- Sansa. I've missed you too".

She took his hand then and brought it to her lips too, her other hand seemed to decide on its own volition to over his cheek, to touch his eyebrow, like it was mapping her for him. "you look good, you know?"

"You as well, Sansa. I can't believe I'm looking at you, I can't believe you're touching me". And the adoration in his voice would melt her.

"And I can't believe you're not kissing me right now, Ser"

And because he never wanted to disappoint her, he did.

For far longer than he ever had in Kings Landing.


End file.
